BE OUR GUEST

Here's the State of the Union guest list. Nothing exciting or unexpected...

--Three supporters of privatization private accounts personal accounts.

--Various military guests, including the family of a soldier slain in Fallujah (a family supportive of Bush's policy).

--Two supporters of No Child Left Behind whom WE SWEAR WERE NOT PAID LARGE SUMS OF MONEY BY THE DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION. REALLY. WE SWEARS... ON... THE PRECIOUS!

--"A representative of the faith-based community". Um, that's a wide net! Is that going to be Osama Bin Laden in chains a la King Kong? Maybe he'll be forced to double-up with Spongebob!

--An OB/GYN who "stopped delivering babies last year because of rising insurance premiums", and supports Bush's position on malpractice reform. Of course, those premiums might have something to do with malpractice, but that would be just too darn communist.

From there it's the usual, some small business owners, some specific issue advocates, and so on. At the top of the list, however, are "two unnamed guests" of the First Lady. TFM predicts that they will be revealed as:

1) A 6-foot-tall, 400-pound index finger doused in ink.
2) Chamed Alabi