AND THE OSCAR FOR 'BEST EXPOSED RIBS' GOES TO...

Sorry about that, Mel. Maybe they'll add that category next year and you can write a sequel . . . it'll be eligible for Best Original Screenplay, I'd note.

But enough of that. Here are the nominations for the 77th Annual Academy Awards.

Here's the TFM quick-style handicap of the major awards:

--The Aviator wins the big dog
--Foxx edges out Leo and Cheadle for best actor
--Annette Benning beats Swank this time, though I'd be tickled pink if Winslet won for Eternal Sunshine
--Thomas Haden Church runs away with the supporting actor Oscar
--Supporting actress is anybody's guess, but Blanchett will edge out Virginia Madsen and the Honorary Mrs. TFM, Natalie Portman
--Scorsese wins best director
--As much as I loved Shrek 2, The Incredibles will win the animated category.

So, am I worse at predicting award shows or football games? We'll find out! In the meantime, let's have some fun complaining:

--Both Control Room and The Corporation did not receive nominations for best documentary feature. For that matter, where is Metallica: Some Kind of Monster? Eh, maybe the Academy was consciously shying away from the more political fare this year. I'll be pulling for Super Size Me.

--Paul Giamatti got screwed. Why is Clint Eastwood nominated? He plays the same "grumbly-Clint" role he's played for the past 15 years. Everyone else deserves to be there, so I wont complain about the lack of a nomination for Jim Carrey (Eternal Sunshine)

--Damnit, I'm sick of this happening in the best song category: An old musical (Phantom of the Opera) is adapted to the screen, and some song that didn't make the cut onstage but shows up in the movie gets a nomination. This happened with both Evita and Chicago. Argh! Here's hoping the silly dreads of Adam Duritz find their way to the stage.

--A big ouch for A Very Long Engagement in the foreign language category. It's a beautiful movie, albeit a little slow at times.

--A visual effects nomination for Eternal Sunshine would have been appreciated. But how could a real movie get in the way of, say, I Robot?

--One more on the best song category: Where's "America, Fuck Yeah!"??? This is bullshit.

Alright, that's enough.

Boy, I can't wait until next year to see Hayden Christiansen's acceptance speech.

Just kidding.