The Facts Machine

"And I come back to you now, at the turn of the tide"

Monday, September 27, 2004

DEBATE PREDICTIONS

The first Presidential debate is Thursday evening, 6pm Pacific Time (and thus, 9 eastern, and so on), on pretty much any channel.

In the next day or two I'll post on what the candidates need to accomplish and what to watch for and so on. But in the meantime, here's my first batch of predictions:

--When Saturday Night Live does their first parody of the debates, it will make underappreciated cast member Seth Meyers a star.

--The media will make a big deal about something really stupid. You know, like the sigh.

--George W Bush will not wear a watch like his daddy did, but he will look at his wrist anyway.

--Impressively, Bush will deliver his entire opening statement while Cheney drinks a glass of water.

--If he gets his way, the amount of times Bush says "Bin Laden" in the first debate will be as close to the number of times we can expect Kerry to say "lockbox". As in, zero.

--Unless, of course, Bush rolls the Al Qaeda leader on to the stage 45 minutes in.

--Bush will pause to windsurf while Kerry falls off a Segway... you know, for a change of pace.

--Regrettably, President Bush will not be asked this question, though I'd sure love to see him answer it.

--The moderator will talk over both candidates at different points in the debate when they have gone over their allotted time. The post-debate pundits will make a big deal only about Kerry's longwindedness.

--Bush will not trot out that Iraqi right-track/wrong-track poll again.

--If "bring 'em on" gets brought up, the intersection of deer and headlights on national television will be quite easy to see.

--If Kerry gets asked about his now-stupidly-famous quote on the $87 million, the American people will finally, FINALLY hear the context of the quote. The fact that Bush and his friends who repeated the quote at the GOP convention could only be snarky about it without providing its context is very telling. Thus, I desperately want Kerry to be asked about it.

Ok that's enough for now, my serious pre-debate analysis will come either tomorrow or Wednesday.

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