The Facts Machine

"And I come back to you now, at the turn of the tide"

Monday, August 29, 2005

BACK TODAY

--Katrina: I'm up late right now and it's about to come ashore. Looks devastating, I'm suspending my usual contempt for the carnival-esque manner in which the news stations cover hurricanes in order to convey the hope that her destructive power does not prove to be as great as feared. Also, many people are taking shelter in the Superdome... couldn't we send Joe Montana down there to throw a half-dozen touchdown passes? You know, for old time's sake, to entertain the huddled masses?

--Pat Robertson: "Blessed are the heads of state in South American countries more democratic than Iraq will be anytime in the near future... for they will be whacked!"

--Cindy Sheehan: You know, watching Bush give that speech last week where he referenced a different military mom, did any of you older hands have flashbacks to Nixon and Colson siccing a then-young John O'Neill on an then-also-young John Kerry? It's the same strategy, only the war has changed. Or has it?

--Iraqi Constitution: I see Leo. I see Kate. I see Billy Zane. And a lot of deck chairs. Well, the Green Zone has a constitution. Now if they ever secure the road between the Green Zone and the Airport (only a few miles west), they might have something.

--Goodnight!

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