YE OLDE PRE-DEBATE POSTE

Bush and Kerry return to their respective lecterns tonight for the third and final Presidential debate, to be held in that quiet, tranquil community known as Tempe, Arizona. The debate will focus primarily on domestic issues. What should we look for?

--Watch for these lies. Will John Kerry be able to hit back in a rhetorically clear manner?

--Will the discrepancy in microphone-height remain apparent tonight?

--Will Bush quote the 98-tax-increases figure he and Cheney used last week, or the 350-tax-increases figure they're using in a campaign commercial currently running in battleground states? At maximum, only one of these figures can be true. At maximum.

--Will Bob Scheiffer be shouted down?

--If Bill O'Reilly shows up, will he feel up Teresa? (dammit, this deserves its own post)

Posted 2:37 PM by Brendan
BILL O'REILLY STARS AS LONG DONG SILVER IN...

I guess we now know who Bill O'Reilly's ideal Supreme Court Justice is.

Hours after Bill O'Reilly accused her of a multimillion dollar shakedown attempt, a female Fox News producer fired back at the TV star today, filing a lawsuit claiming that he subjected her to repeated instances of sexual harassment and spoke often, and explicitly, to her about phone sex, vibrators, threesomes, masturbation, the loss of his virginity, and sexual fantasies.

I won't ruin the rest, but here's one to think about for the rest of the day:

66. During the course of O'REILLY's telephone monologue on August 2, 2004, he suggested that Plaintiff ANDREA MACKRIS purchase a vibrator and name it, and that he had one "shaped like a cock with a little battery in it" that a woman had given him. It became apparent that Defendeant was masturbating as he spoke. After he climaxed, Defendant O'REILLY said to Plaintiff: "I appreciate the fun phone call. You can have fun tonight. I'll appreciate it. I mean it." Plaintiff felt as if the floor had fallen out from beneath her. She was shocked, frightened and upset. She felt trapped.

Boy, what a charmer that man is. The trick to get out of that situation is to either say "shut up!" or moan "ohhh Al, Al!" "Oh god, you are the hottest clandestinely registered Republican I have evern met!" should work as well. Or "Oh baby, I'm giving you all my Peabody, I mean Polk awards for this!" Okay, back to that other post.

--Will Bush be listening to the Yankees game on his earpiece?

--Will Kerry be able to nail Bush to the wall on the environment this time, instead of letting him slip away and talk just about Kyoto?

See you tonight at 6!