I THINK I SAW THIS ONE

The truth is out there. From the San Mateo County Times, my old hometown paper:

WE have been reading a lot lately about a fellow in Menlo Park who collected rodents. Lots of rodents. But his apparent fetish tends to pale when one considers the hoarding habit of a guy who was living in the South San Francisco/Colma area. According to The Times' Emily Fancher, the case didn't get much publicity at all. But it was apparently a doozy. It involved a man who collected cockroaches. He had thousands of the unpleasant insects stashed in a room in his trailer. The joint fairly oozed with the creatures. Naturally, once local Health Department authorities discovered the amazing scope of the crawling North County critters, they acted. Problem solved. But there remains the obvious lingering question: Why? Why would someone dote on cockroaches, of all things? We don't have the answer to that poser, of course. But we do believe this is one more validation of The X-Files. Mulder and Scully might have been right after all. It's just unfortunate that they have never visited the neighborhoods nestled near the slopes of San Bruno Mountain. Think of the possibilities.

So that's why the Sharks left the Cow Palace. I'm sorry, I have a mild headache so I couldn't think of a more snappy quip than that.

Ok, I'll put some energy into this: It gives me an idea I should pass on to the managers of the Madonna Inn hotel in San Luis Obispo. "Here's our Egyptian Paradise room, our Amazon Jungle room, and our Full-of-fuckin Cockroaches room." From what I hear, however, this could be kind of redundant. (heyo!)

Finally what does "they acted" mean, pertaining to the Health Department? Did they open a really big roach motel next door? With a free roach continental breakfast included with roach checkout? Was the house burnt? Fumigated? Were the offending insects covered in chocolate and sent to See's? The possibilities are endless.