"NOT UNLESS YOU THINK ABOUT THE IRONY..."

Bush talks tough on Cuba:

WASHINGTON, April 16 — The Bush administration is considering a series of steps to punish the Cuban government for its recent crackdown on dissidents, officials said today.

Among the more drastic are the possibility of cutting off cash payments to relatives in Cuba — a mainstay for millions of Cubans — or halting direct flights to the island, the officials said.

President Bush is likely to make a public statement soon about the crackdown, which has stirred grave concern among Cuba policy experts here and dampened the hopes of lawmakers and others seeking to ease the current trade sanctions.

("How can you imprison dissidents?" asked an incredulous Bush. "Round these here parts we just don't let 'em on TV!")

Part of the possible penalties, of course, would be forcing Cuba to lower itself from a total literacy rate to, you know, ours.

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Joke #3: ownership of cigars will be added to the criteria for enforcement of Patriot Act II.