YOU MUST BE CHOKING!

Talk about direct action!

PARIS (Reuters) - U.S. citizens have turned on French fries and toast to vent their frustration at France's anti-war stance on Iraq. Now the French have joined in the food war -- with pretzels.

A French Web Site is urging people to send pretzels to U.S. President, who fainted and fell off a sofa in January 2002 after gagging on the salty snack.

The Web Site, www.bretzelforbush.com, says the pretzels will be stored at a secret location before being sent to the White House in a historic mass action.

The retaliation follows moves by some in the United States to change the names of French fries and French toast to Freedom fries and Freedom toast.

Remember, this plan will only work if there's multitasking involved, i.e. watching sports on tv at the same time. Hmm no football, but there's the NCAA Tournament about to start. Look out, trachea!

First of all, it wouldn't be assassination. They're just delivering the pretzels, it's up to Smirk to stick the thingies in his gullet and take a wrong turn at the ol' windpipe. Second of all, if that fails, there's always next november, when we can banish him to his designer ranch for the rest of his life.