MOMENT OF BULLSHIT TRUTH

Here is a transcript of Bush's speech. Again, I took notes, though I must say, I had trouble staring directly at the tv. Anyway here goes...

Many Iraqis can hear me tonight in a translated radio broadcast, and I have a message for them: If we must begin a military campaign, it will be directed against the lawless men who rule your country and not against you. (emphases mine)

Uh, two problems here. First, when thousands of "shock and awe" bombs rain down on Baghdad in the first days of war (destroying at least 10% of the buildings there), it will be hard for an innocent Iraqi civilian to think that the war isn't being fought against them. Second of all, interesting use of words there, Dubya. Where have I heard "lawless men" before? The last time I heard "lawless men" was a shade over three years ago, at those UCSB Campus Crusade for Christ meetings I went to for some reason. Yep, Bush is going full-on New Testament here. George, what are the implications in that? You're honestly trying to tell us this isn't a crusade? Oy vey.

Should enemies strike our country, they would be attempting to shift our attention with panic and weaken our morale with fear.

Bush would know. That's been his entire strategy for getting support for this war.

But it's not just that. If someone wants to make the argument that offing the Iraqi regime is part of the "war on terrorism", they're allowed to make that argument farily. I'd disagree completely, but they're allowed to argue such. But we have a situation in America where almost HALF of our population thinks Hussein was directly involved in the 9/11 attacks, and much of the support for this upcoming war is based on that. That, y'all, is deception, and not grounds for war.

Let's see. On the UN:

America tried to work with the United Nations to address this threat because we wanted to resolve the issue peacefully

Bullshit. You just wanted your war. A little earlier in the speech:

The Iraqi regime has used diplomacy as a ploy to gain time and advantage.

The Bush regime has used "diplomacy" as a disguise for their one and only plan, which was to get their war. If Hans Blix goes to the UNSC and says progress is being made, you build on that! Let's understand that we can use patience, that sometimes these things take time. The reason this disarmament could never look like past disarmaments is because the situation is politically different from, say, the post-USSR Ukraine. Or maybe also because Bush used "obviously" fake information regarding Iraq allegedly buying noo-kyoo-lar material from Niger.

Speaking of which, now that this friggin war is inevitable, when the time comes that we're occupying Iraq, I can't wait to see the evidence of WMD's they keep talking about to turn up. We might have to plant it, Mark Fuhrman-style.

Okay, what else?

And all Iraqi military and civilian personnel should listen carefully to this warning: In any conflict, your fate will depend on your actions. Do not destroy oil wells, a source of wealth that belongs to the Iraqi people.

Where's Pavlov when you need him? If only this were "Blind Date", cuz they'd stick a graphic of drool running down Dubya's chin as he demands that Iraq not ignite their oil. (this was the point when i scribbled "me wantee" on my notepad)

In free Iraq there will be no more wars of aggression against your neighbors, no more poison factories, no more executions of dissidents, no more torture chambers and rape rooms. The tyrant will soon be gone. The day of your liberation is near.

Yeah, we're above that whole torturing thing. But yeah, your day of liberation is near! Particularly your liberation from your physical form if you are in Baghdad on "shock and awe" night! And speaking of liberated, remember that the lands controlled by the Kurdish resistance to Saddam might be given to . . . Turkey, a country that 1) hates the Kurds and 2) just expelled their entire political party.

Eventually, as my housemates and myself watched the speech, it degenerated into a contest of who could perform the most amusing sight-gag involving our commander-in-thief (official TFM housemate ben has a big-screen). There we're nose-pickings and nipple-twistings abound.

Bush thinks he has some sort of divine mandate about this, and that's why we couldn't change the fucker's mind (pardon my Freedom). A bit Louis XIV of him, you think? I'm sure George wouldn't mind absolutism; given the way the Dems bent over for him last fall, he sort of has it. Anyway, as long as it appears war is inevitable, I will take this time to appeal to Saddam: Get out. Take your sons with you. I know this is all bullshit, but lives are at stake, and those here who claim to care are only in it for blood and oil.

Either way, we'll see to it that Bush will be flipping burgers in Kennedrunkport in under two years. We'll have our democracy back. Will Iraq have anything close to a democracy by then? If you think so, then . . . wait, no words for that.