We're about to launch a pre-emptive war, the economy is in the shitter, and Bush is running a statistical dead heat with an "unnamed democrat" in a number of recent polls. So with that in mind, let's try to name that Democrat, shall we? TFM presents:
WHO THE HECK IS RUNNING IN 2004?
At the request of one of my readers, I will go through each of the major 2004 Democratic hopefuls for the nomination. First on our list is
John Kerry (senator, MA). At this point, I'm guessing that he'll get the nomination. Does that mean I want him to get it? I'm not sure, I have someone else in mind. But I'd be very happy with Kerry, he's a solid speechmaker, and could debate circles around Bush. He's pro-choice, anti-deathpenalty, and articulates Democratic policy very eloquently. In terms of Iraq, he fits the second of the two categories I describe in a post yesterday, the "it seems like a good idea, but Bush will fuck it up" category. He is a decorated 'Nam vet, and was also a very passionate speaker against the war back in his college days (while Bush was drinking and cheerleading, I might add). On the whole, his foreign policy as president would probably be pretty close to that of Bill Clinton. Oh, and he's raisng a ton of money by most standards. Just please, no prostate jokes, thanks! TFM 04 grade: A-
John Edwards (senator, NC). First of all, just to clear it up for middle America: He's not the guy who talks to dead people on tv. For those journalists who like to have tidy storylines for campaigns, Edwards represents the dashing young mystery-man, a Babbit/Hart type. He's from the south, like the last three Democratic presidents-elect (Carter, Clinton, Gore). He's been pretty good on social issues, and he's looking to turn the tables on Republicans who have been trying to label him as just a "trial lawyer". An strong advocate of pateints' rights against HMO's, Edwards runs into some trouble on the Iraq issue; he was just booed during a speech to the California Democratic Party last weekend when he reached the subject. He can be a bit wishywashy at times, and he is young. I'd still be a lot happier to call him president than Dubya. Plus, he's been solid on the environment. TFM grade: B-
Richard Gephardt (disgraced former house minority leader, MO). Just go away. I don't get it. It was your call to bend over for Bush on the Iraq vote last fall. That was what got the Dems screwed in the midterms. You took the blame, and you resigned as house minority leader. And . . . now you want us to back you for president??? Good luck. Even labor, which has been your biggest supporter through the years, is iffy on backing you. Still, every so often you say the right thing, and I'd still rather you over Dubya. Then again, that's true for any of these people. TFM grade: D.
Joe Lieberman (fake republican, CT). Pack it in, dude. You got out-debated by Cheney in 2000, there's no excuse for that. And Joe, this isn't how you energize the Democratic base:
Al Sharpton (big hair, NY). I've always liked Al Sharpton, a great speechmaker and advocate for civil rights and other causes. Remember him getting arrested in Puerto Rico not too long ago? Anyway, I was a little nervous about him being some sort of distraction when he said he was running for president. But the thing is, he's not actually running for president. He doesn't say so when he makes speeches. He's "running" for two reasons, 1) to move the political debate leftward, and 2) to get a good soapbox to attack Bush from. He's doing a great job with both of those goals.
Personally, I think Al Sharpton would make an outstanding president. But what he's doing kicks ass too. TFM grade: A/incomplete
Bob Graham (senator - FLA). He just got out of the hospital a little while ago, but he has two big things going for him: 1) he's big shit on the "homeland security" issue, and 2) FLORIDA. I haven't seen him speak much, though, and when I have, he doesn't wow me. He'll need that extra something that all winning candidates have. TFM grade: C+.
Finally, my candidate of choice,
Howard Dean (former governor, VT). The doctor is in! That's what the signs said during Dean's speech for the California Democratic Party, where he brought the house down. Dean describes himself in the Wellstone fashion, as in, "I'm from the Democratic wing of the Democratic Party". He's as progressive as Democrats come, pro-choice, antiwar, and much more. Best of all, you may remember that as governor of Vermont, he signed into law the most comprehensive civil unions legislation in the country, allowing hospital visits and other equal rights for same-sex couples. The only interesting quirk about Dean (other than him being only -- gasp! -- 5'9") is that he gets great ratings from the NRA. That would have bothered me several months ago, but after seeing Bowling for Columbine a few times, I have a better idea of what the problem is.
Dean has been the strongest anti-war voice in the field. As far as I can see, this is not a political choice on his part, he really believes it, and TFM salutes him. I'm guessing Kerry will get the nomination, and I'm fine with that, but I'm pulling hard for Dean. He'll get some redneck votes for being pro-gun. He'll get some ex-Nader votes too; this is no "republicrat". TFM grade: A.
Others?
Kucinich - no
Hart - how are the ladies?
Moseley Braun - nobody seems to care, i like her though
Biden - nahh
Clark - nice uniform
WHO THE HECK IS RUNNING IN 2004?
At the request of one of my readers, I will go through each of the major 2004 Democratic hopefuls for the nomination. First on our list is
John Kerry (senator, MA). At this point, I'm guessing that he'll get the nomination. Does that mean I want him to get it? I'm not sure, I have someone else in mind. But I'd be very happy with Kerry, he's a solid speechmaker, and could debate circles around Bush. He's pro-choice, anti-deathpenalty, and articulates Democratic policy very eloquently. In terms of Iraq, he fits the second of the two categories I describe in a post yesterday, the "it seems like a good idea, but Bush will fuck it up" category. He is a decorated 'Nam vet, and was also a very passionate speaker against the war back in his college days (while Bush was drinking and cheerleading, I might add). On the whole, his foreign policy as president would probably be pretty close to that of Bill Clinton. Oh, and he's raisng a ton of money by most standards. Just please, no prostate jokes, thanks! TFM 04 grade: A-
John Edwards (senator, NC). First of all, just to clear it up for middle America: He's not the guy who talks to dead people on tv. For those journalists who like to have tidy storylines for campaigns, Edwards represents the dashing young mystery-man, a Babbit/Hart type. He's from the south, like the last three Democratic presidents-elect (Carter, Clinton, Gore). He's been pretty good on social issues, and he's looking to turn the tables on Republicans who have been trying to label him as just a "trial lawyer". An strong advocate of pateints' rights against HMO's, Edwards runs into some trouble on the Iraq issue; he was just booed during a speech to the California Democratic Party last weekend when he reached the subject. He can be a bit wishywashy at times, and he is young. I'd still be a lot happier to call him president than Dubya. Plus, he's been solid on the environment. TFM grade: B-
Richard Gephardt (disgraced former house minority leader, MO). Just go away. I don't get it. It was your call to bend over for Bush on the Iraq vote last fall. That was what got the Dems screwed in the midterms. You took the blame, and you resigned as house minority leader. And . . . now you want us to back you for president??? Good luck. Even labor, which has been your biggest supporter through the years, is iffy on backing you. Still, every so often you say the right thing, and I'd still rather you over Dubya. Then again, that's true for any of these people. TFM grade: D.
Joe Lieberman (fake republican, CT). Pack it in, dude. You got out-debated by Cheney in 2000, there's no excuse for that. And Joe, this isn't how you energize the Democratic base:
"It's time to come together and support our great American men and women in uniform and their commander-in-chief,"Not that your moralizing helps either. You have more name recognition than the other guys, but that's all you have. Please, hit the road. TFM grade: D-
Al Sharpton (big hair, NY). I've always liked Al Sharpton, a great speechmaker and advocate for civil rights and other causes. Remember him getting arrested in Puerto Rico not too long ago? Anyway, I was a little nervous about him being some sort of distraction when he said he was running for president. But the thing is, he's not actually running for president. He doesn't say so when he makes speeches. He's "running" for two reasons, 1) to move the political debate leftward, and 2) to get a good soapbox to attack Bush from. He's doing a great job with both of those goals.
Personally, I think Al Sharpton would make an outstanding president. But what he's doing kicks ass too. TFM grade: A/incomplete
Bob Graham (senator - FLA). He just got out of the hospital a little while ago, but he has two big things going for him: 1) he's big shit on the "homeland security" issue, and 2) FLORIDA. I haven't seen him speak much, though, and when I have, he doesn't wow me. He'll need that extra something that all winning candidates have. TFM grade: C+.
Finally, my candidate of choice,
Howard Dean (former governor, VT). The doctor is in! That's what the signs said during Dean's speech for the California Democratic Party, where he brought the house down. Dean describes himself in the Wellstone fashion, as in, "I'm from the Democratic wing of the Democratic Party". He's as progressive as Democrats come, pro-choice, antiwar, and much more. Best of all, you may remember that as governor of Vermont, he signed into law the most comprehensive civil unions legislation in the country, allowing hospital visits and other equal rights for same-sex couples. The only interesting quirk about Dean (other than him being only -- gasp! -- 5'9") is that he gets great ratings from the NRA. That would have bothered me several months ago, but after seeing Bowling for Columbine a few times, I have a better idea of what the problem is.
Dean has been the strongest anti-war voice in the field. As far as I can see, this is not a political choice on his part, he really believes it, and TFM salutes him. I'm guessing Kerry will get the nomination, and I'm fine with that, but I'm pulling hard for Dean. He'll get some redneck votes for being pro-gun. He'll get some ex-Nader votes too; this is no "republicrat". TFM grade: A.
Others?
Kucinich - no
Hart - how are the ladies?
Moseley Braun - nobody seems to care, i like her though
Biden - nahh
Clark - nice uniform
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