CERTAINLY DESTINED FOR THE COMEDY SHELF

(found via tbogg)

What the fizuck is this?

"The Leadership Genius of George W. Bush: 10 Common Sense Lessons from the Commander-in-Chief"

I am absolutely heartbroken that I didn't hear about this book before Christmas.

1. Never work a day in your life.
2. Make sure you have a really well-known last name.
3. Who needs actual academic merit to get into business school?* When your last name is Bush, Harvard here I come!
4. If you're running your energy company into the ground, make sure your daddy has some very rich friends.
5. If you know something that the other shareholders in your firm don't, then . . . shhhh . . . you didn't hear it from me.
6. Make sure your afternoons are nice and clear for hours of video poker.
7. Drink, drink DRINK!, until say, forty.
8. Identify a couple of flexible, one-note solutions and apply them to just about everything. Good examples are "tax cuts" and "Saddam is an evil man".
9. When adversity and crises strike America, make sure to "...get out of harm's way".
and finally,
10. Pretzels and football don't mix!

Ok, I think you are now ready to get out there and be the best commander-in-chief you can be! An added bonus is that I saved you the 20 bucks that this book would have costed you.

*- The University of Texas at Austin's business school rejected Dubya's application, since they make admissions decisions based on, you know, merit.