COUNTERING AMERICA'S CRACK EPIDEMIC

No, the other one:

Virginians who wear their pants so low their underwear shows may want to think about investing in a stronger belt.

The state's House of Delegates passed a bill Tuesday authorizing a $50 fine for anyone who displays his or her underpants in a "lewd or indecent manner."

Del. Lionell Spruill Sr., a Democrat who opposed the bill, had pleaded with his colleagues to remember their own youthful fashion follies.

During an extended monologue Monday, he talked about how they dressed or wore their hair in their teens. On Tuesday, he said the measure was an unconstitutional attack on young blacks that would force parents to take off work to accompany their children to court just for making a fashion statement.

"This is a foolish bill, Mr. Speaker, because it will hurt so many," Spruill said before the measure was approved 60-34. It now goes to the state Senate.

Virginia, of course, is the home of the Pentagon, which was attacked by terrorists flying a hijacked airplane in late summer 2001. Glad to see the Virginia Legislature has their priorities straight.

Dealing with the issue as seriously as one can, the bulk of the blame for low-ride-apalooza falls upon Britney and her ilk. TFM wouldn't mind seeing a return to sensible waist locations, but has no explicit objection to the current state of American pants. However, as a bike commuter for 2 years at UCSB, I've noticed that some of you girls there would probably have to take out some supplemental student loans to pay your fines should such a law be passed in California.

That said, the bill passed by the Virginia legislature is simply stupid, and a waste of time. Surely Governor Warner, who'd like to get on the good side of America's young people (the only age demographic whose share of the electorate increased in 2004), will veto the bill should it reach him. With all that in mind, I have two gifts for the bill's supporters:



(thanks to alex for the link)