The Facts Machine

"And I come back to you now, at the turn of the tide"

Wednesday, June 02, 2004


From when The Mighty Reason Man spoofed Instapundit:
At the bar the other night, my girlfriends and I were talking about some of the law professors at our school (we attend a major southern university). One of them mentioned how she had heard that the most common injuries suffered by southern law professors are complications due to falls caused by tripping over their own larger-than-average penises. Who better to confirm or deny this than you?
Indeed. I can't speak for anyone else, but I've never had any problems maneuvering around my enormous cock, although there have been a few close calls. It's just something you learn to live with, although, like my synesthesia, it does allow me to focus on other problems while my tremendous wang completes mundane tasks.

Update: Another reader has a question as well:
I too have a monstrous johnson, as do most of my Republican friends. My liberal friends, on the other hand, refuse to talk to me when I ask them about it. This leads me to believe that they are, shall we say, light in the drawers. So, my question is, does Republicanism cause one's equipment to grow, or do people with massive schlongs naturally tend to be Republicans?
I don't think there is necessarily a causal relationship - after all, I am not a Republican, yet my gargantuan tool is, so far as I know, without equal.

Another Update: Alan Colmes emails:
First of all, big fan of your site. Hannity sent this to me, and I figured I'd add my two cents. While I'll grant you that conservative dick is quite a bit larger, on average, than liberal dick, it is important to bear in mind that size doesn't matter, so long as you know how to use it. Not that many of us do, I know, but still...
That's what they all say.

Yet Another Update: Tim Blair, on his website:
Having repeatedly licked The Professor's balls over the last two years, I am in a position to say that the hardest part of doing so is holding up his elephantine peter in order to keep it from flopping down on your head, causing a mild concussion.

Still More: This is getting out of hand. Virginia Postrel is demanding pictures. Lileks wants collectible porcelain figurines.

posted at 04:16 PM by Glenn Reynolds
That was a week ago. Flash forward to today:
INSTAPUNDIT: The blog women love! But of course.

posted at 02:19 PM by Glenn Reynolds
Oh boy.


Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home