Today the UCSB Daily Nexus turned both their print and online editions into parodies of the local city paper, the Santa Barbara News Press, presumably as an April Fools prank.

Here's the joke masthead, which will probably get taken down soon:



Note the burning couch just to the right of the house. Hehe.

Among the highlights within the April Fool's edition:

--Hey, looks like we got A-Rod.

--A repressed version of their weekly sex column, now referred to as "The Thursday Corset", though given the very plain vanilla nature of their usual sex column (heterosexual missionary-position sexual intercourse, wow!), it's hardly a departure. But at least it uses the word "milkshake" without mentioning that damn song.

--A, let's say, somewhat contrarian take on the White Album.

--The definitive letter to the editor on the gay marriage debate.

--This idea would certainly diminish Greek organization particpation here.

--The Midwesterners are coming!

--I knew it was them!

Has Isla Vista's notoriously rowdy and raucous drink-drenched choo-choo train of boozy bedlam derailed, taking with it the infamous and intoxicating cow-catcher that pushed naked people dancing onto the rooftops of this seaside den of collegiate excess?

On Wednesday, local leaders banded together to announce that, swayed by repeated News-Piss editorials, the remaining citizens of the seaside hamlet have signed a formal pledge swearing off alcoholic beverages. Helping the town onto the wagon is the Isla Vista Foot Patrol, which gave all Santa Barbara City College students until sundown to clear out.

Hahaha, you can always tell which parties are SBCC. Just follow the trail of broken glass (from either bottles or car windows) and really bad, really tone-deaf punk music.

And that's about it.