JOHN KERRY WON'T WIN THE NOMINATION...

But he's struck first in the race to get Bush's USS Lincoln stunt into an ad. (scroll down to "Carrier" and choose your desired player and speed)

Well, to be fair to BushCo, getting the aircraft carrier stunt into campaign commercials was precisely what they had in mind. Of course, they thought it would come in handy for their commercials, but you take what you can get.