HIS LAST WORDS WERE: "GOOOOAAALLLL!!!"

The British Medical Journal said that researchers who studied England's 1998 World Cup soccer matches found that heart attacks increased by 25 percent when England lost to Argentina after a gripping penalty shoot-out.

"These findings support the view that heart attacks can be triggered by emotional upset, such as watching your football team lose an important match -- particularly those in which there is a penalty shoot-out," the journal said in a statement.

Researchers from the University of Bristol and University of Birmingham said that football fans would have experienced a fair amount of tension before and during the England-Argentina match -- both because matches between the two countries always produced intense rivalry and it was a shoot-out.

The researchers examined hospital admissions for heart attack, stroke, deliberate self-harm and road traffic injuries on the day of and five days after, England's World Cup matches, compared with admissions at the same time in previous and following years and in the month before the tournament.

They found that the risk of admission for heart attacks increased by 25 percent on June 30 -- the day of the England-Argentina match -- and the following two days. Admissions were higher among men than women. (Full story)

That's an interesting study, I must say. There's a significant problem with it, though. For the most part, Americans are almost wholly indifferent to futbol ("isn't that soccer with no pads? . . . wait"), yet heart attack rates are certainly higher in America than in Europe. We have no penalty shootouts! Does anything come close? Basketball has . . . drum roll . . . free throws! No increased infarction there! And hockey? Sure, the penalty shots are exciting. But really, how many Americans actually watch hockey?

Oh well, must be all that meat, fat and sugar. Anyway, off to The Two Towers. Nite!