The Facts Machine

"And I come back to you now, at the turn of the tide"

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

SHORTER ALITO HEARINGS

From Ping:
A Democrat gets up to ask questions and says, "Judge, i'm very disturbed by this opinion so-and-so, which you wrote in year so-and-so, because it suggests to me that you don't believe in principle X, which is important to me (e.g. the constitution, limits on executive power, civil rights, women’s rights)."

Alito says, "Oh, no. I do care about principle X. That case was N years ago, so i don't remember it that well, but — you misunderstood the case, you see — the case was not about principle X, it was about principle Y. And let me explain how my decision in that case was a perfectly reasonable judgement about principle Y. ..."

Then a Republican gets up to ask questions and says, "Judge, i am very impressed by you, and it upsets me that some people here are trying to distort your record. I think you are extremely well qualified to serve on the Supreme Court, and while i'm at it, let me quote aloud these N other important people who have also said that you are an absolutely fantastic person. ..."

Alito says, "Thank you."

...Or, the Republican gets up and says, "I want to know how you feel about X. And by the way, before you answer, let me tell you my opinion — i feel very strongly such-and-such, and i hope you do too."

Alito says, "Oh yes. I agree with you."
Heh. We're lucky if we get even those responses from Alito, as he can always pull out the old John Roberts Special: "I'm not going to answer that, because that issue could come before the court and my answering it here at the hearing my place some prejudice on my future opinions", or something. Then again, in the logic department, I file that one right next to "revealing our warrant-free spying program aids the enemy."

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