The Facts Machine

"And I come back to you now, at the turn of the tide"

Monday, April 26, 2004

President Bush Claims Medals Thrown Over White House Gate Weren't His

WASHINGTON (Art Vandelay Press) -- President George W. Bush is facing a new controversy today when it was revealed, based on video and eyewitness sources, that the war medals thrown over the White House fence in a 1971 protest of the Vietnam War were not his.

A video reel played today by ABC News clearly shows that of the medals thrown in the protest, none were won by the President.

White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan strongly denied accusations that Bush's medals were among those cast over the White House gate by veterans protesting the then-conflict in Southeast Asia. Speaking this morning to the White House press corps, McClellan noted that not only did Bush not receive any accolades for exemplary performance in combat, but also that he never even fought in Vietnam, serving instead, for a time, in the Texas Air National Guard.

"The closest thing to a medal he ever received at the time was a gold filling at the Alabama National Guard's dental office," McClellan said.

He added, "President Bush served in the notoriously jungle-free state of Texas, for a while, and would not have been in a position to engage in the sort of swift-boat heroics that brought other veterans of the Vietnam era medals such as those involved in the 1971 protest."

Speaking at an airport tarmac in Birmingham, Alabama, the President gave little heed to the questions posed to him by the assorted press on the issue of the war medals. Often prone to citing and quoting his favorite motion picutre Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery, a defiant Bush asserted to the assorted press corps, "I swear, they're not mine!"

Asked to comment further, Bush attributed the controversy to "...politics," adding that he is "concerned that the Senator from Massachusetts eventually left Vietnam, showing that he doesn't have the decisive qualities required to handle a job like this."

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