FOUR QUICK OVER-THE-WEEKEND ITEMS

--Quick, picture Bush's Meet the Press appearance. Now picture Kerry's. Of course, the right is busy parsing it, which is very telling. We didn't have the luxury of being able to parse the long-winded, content-free drivel that escaped George's lips when he appeared with Russert. A thought experiment: Had the nature of their interviews been switched, Kerry's campaign would be deader than disco.

--So Bob Woodward breaks a big story last night that Bush apparently made a deal with Saudi Arabia to affect the 2004 election via oil prices. Kinda brings a special irony to James "Best of the Web" Taranto's frequent headline "Our Friends the Saudis". But of course, no mention of this today. If Kerry/Clinton had...

--Chris Rock was excellent in his new HBO special. His bits on affirmative action, and Michael Jackson ("Twenty minutes late? This ain't `Barbershop 2.' It's court. He didn't even wear a real suit. He came in lookin' like Captain Crunch. Who's your lawyer? Franken Berry?"), were quite memorable. Here's a scoop for Drudge if he wants it:

By the time Rock started slamming President Bush, about 100 people wearing grimaces started exiting the arena. About 4,400 people stayed and laughed, and Rock said black people still don't have equal opportunity in America.

"America is a nation of `B' and `C' students," he said. "A black `C' student can't even be a manager at Burger King. But a white `C' student happens to be president of the United States of America."

Mon dieu! They couldn't have been going to the bathroom could they? Of course, if this story is true, then those 100 people are, well, morons, because Rock made the same joke about Bush that he made about Clinton in 1999's Bigger and Blacker, the joke being that the President likes all these mini-stories that happen (from Columbine to Laci Peterson) because it takes attention off of him. The "C student" joke is more a racial joke than a Bush joke, and besides, Bush himself makes light of his past academic follies. Iraq was mentioned, but only in the context of Tupac. Don't ask.

--The total number of American troops who have perished in Iraq has topped 700 overall, and is now at 101 for April, only after 19 days. Damn.