GREAT MOMENTS IN CHRISTIAN THOUGHT

Well, not really.

A Hartland man was treated at a Pittsfield hospital after he nailed himself to a cross. The 23-year-old man apparently was trying to commit suicide Thursday evening in his living room, the Bangor Daily News reported.

Somerset County Sheriff Barry DeLong said Monday that no charges will be filed. "There is no crime here," he said.

Police said the man appeared delusional and told them he had been "seeing pictures of God on the computer." He told them he had not seen the hit movie "The Passion of the Christ," which depicts the Crucifixion of Jesus.

Okay, if that were any other guy on the cross in the movie, there'd be organizations everywhere calling for the movie to be yanked from theaters across America, as if it were The Program or South Park.

But here's my favorite part:

Lt. Pierre Boucher said the man took two pieces of wood, nailed them together in the form of a cross and placed them on the floor. He attached a suicide sign to the wood and then proceeded to nail one of his hands to the makeshift cross using a 14-penny nail and a hammer.

"When he realized that he was unable to nail his other hand to the board, he called 911," Boucher said.

See, for this to work, you need a death-wish AND some Centurions. Oh well, better luck next time, sir!