I NEED MY WEEKEND FREED UP. I THINK I'LL SIGN OUT OF THE SATURDAY MORNING RED-EYE FROM CLEVELAND TO PHOENIX

From the Onion:

New Co-Op Airline Offers Cheaper Fares If You Help Fly The Plane
SAN FRANCISCO—GreenWay Airlines, a new low-cost, cooperative airline, offers inexpensive fares to passengers who assist with the flight, an airline spokesman said Monday. "Unlike pricey corporate airlines, GreenWay is run by and for the people," said Brad Olson, a member of the GreenWay elected board. "But, in order to keep our ticket prices low, everyone who wants to fly with us needs to pitch in and help us navigate and maintain the aircraft. All positions, from baggage handler to pilot, will be filled by volunteers who sign up for four-hour shifts." GreenWay will begin taking reservations for daily flights between San Francisco and Austin, TX, as soon as someone can figure out how to use the booking software.

Hehehe.