BRIEF HALLOWEEN RUNDOWN

The flood-lights were on full blast over at DP last night for the annual Halloween let's-videotape-people's-asses extravaganza!

It had rained most of the day, but mother nature and father strict republican cooperated and gave us Santa Barbarans clear skies for the evening's festivities.

And what are said festivities? They basically revolve around the idea of packing thousands of people on to one small street, and packing them in so tightly that each participant has a greater-than-even chance of inadvertently impregnating the person next to them.

Being a complete nerd, I had something Dean-themed ready to go for a costume, but deciding that such an idea was a shade, uh, cerebral for the crowd, I had a backup plan that I opted for at the last minute (Aragorn. Hey, equally nerdy indeed, but how could I waste my long hair and stubble?). Now on to the TFM Headquarters Costume Roster:

Ben: Homestar Runner
Emily: a mechanic
Greg: an M&M as Eminem
Caris: Lara Croft
Kim: a Viking of some sort
Aaron: (DNP - work)
Brian: (DNP - probably washing car)
Dave: a shirt with sharpie scribbling "Sperm Doner" (sic)
Kristin: Sandinista, but then she changed her mind and did something else
Nate: Luigi
Kylie: angsty 90's teen

Fair enough. Costume highlights from the street?

--To my great surprise, I only saw a couple of Steve Bartmans (the infamous Cubs fan)

--There were the requisite throngs of girls wearing virtually nothing, and the equally requisite throngs of guys following them around with cameras and camcorders, chanting "show your tits!"

--At least a half-dozen costumes consisted of, well, large penises. Think of them as the dirty, late-night works of Klaus Oldenberg.

--One scantily-clad girl walked the streets holding a large cardboard standee of Kobe Bryant in handcuffs while she wore a forlorn look on her face.

--Lots of people as UFCW strikers. Or perhaps those were actual employees.

--The "Chief Cunnilingus Award", for the stupidest sex-themed costume, goes to a couple of guys wearing pool goggles, and t-shirts that read: "Fallopian Swim Team".

--I saw a Robin without a Batman, and a Phillip without a Terrence. Sad.

Anyway, if you're a guy like me who has no need for alcohol or haphazard sexual activity, there wasn't really that much to do on the streets and the adjacent DP parties, so after an hour or two outside, myself and a number of other kindred partiers returned home and had a good grouply get-together.

This will probably have been my last IV halloween, given my academic future.